The hissing of dampened squibs

  

(Detail from World Record Club album 'Philharmonia Fireworks' designed by Guus Van der Heyde)

I know that someone famous said that there is nothing more boring than hearing about other people's dreams. That has, however, never has, and never will stop me. So, here goes: Last night I had a very annoying dream. It woke me up early in the morning, all full of fretfulness, my mind on a loop. I think it was a travel dream. Did I mention that I am going overseas soon? No? Only 22 days to go. I am beginning to bore myself talking about it. Other people must be stupefied (it has, after all, been about five years in the planning. And saving). That has, however, never has, and never will stop me.

Anyway, in this boring, annoying dream, I was watching a fireworks display. But all that happened was a bunch of little worm-like forms whizzed up into the sky, without actually exploding. When some of these worms finally did explode, they were always frustratingly at the periphery of my vision. Turn my head as I might, I could only catch a glimpse of the afterglow. I felt cheated.

I realised that I have been putting so much store in this one little 5 and 1/2 week holiday. It is what I do. I am a very good anticipator. I divide my life into 'befores' and 'afters'. The 'afters' are usually not as much fun as the 'befores'. So I have learned to cherish the 'befores'. The fact is, that plans do go awry. Awful, unfair things happen to people all the time. Why should I be immune?  

I have been so wary of tempting fate in these last few weeks. I keep imagining absentmindedly driving into someone. I imagine being blindsided. I imagine that every phone call will bring unthinkable news. A trip to the hardware store today had me gripping the wheel with white knuckles. These neuroses are, of course, just a necessary form of self-protection. But I know that the real reason is that the closer I get to happiness, the more likely it is that all my dear old neuroses will rocket to the surface. I will be eternally grateful if they do not explode.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

No no! that's not a neurotic dream, it's a premonition! That's just how we do our fireworks here in Pittsburgh. It's very annoying, and the kids hate it, but it's an old local tradition. I'm sure they'll be one when you're here.

[a thousand shades of twilight]

Ha! I look forward to experiencing the unique Pittsburgh Sky Show!

[Lizzy]

E, you funny!

I'm the same way, S. A before/after person. I had all sorts of neurotic dreams last year before going overseas (various apocalypse scenarios), and I had a queezy feeling weeks in advance. I KNEW something bad was gonna happen.

Then nothing really did, except for one minor incident which made me cry and cry and cry unnecessarily. I know it's bad, but I'm not sure what you can do about it, besides go away more often.

Either way, people say that everything happens at least 5 years late in Pittsburgh. Like the recession, apocalypse, the revival of spandex and flare jeans.

So, consider yourself saved. Even if you're meant to have a terrible accident on the way to the hardware store, you're guaranteed an extra 5 if you come to visit us!

[a thousand shades of twilight]

Ha! I'm sort of comforted to hear that this kind of neurosis is not unusual (although sorry to hear about your incident!). I seem to have gotten over the worst of the neuroses (it will resurface the night before, no doubt!) and am just plain excited now!

I am sure I will fit right in in Pittsburgh - it will feel quite modern after sleepy old Adelaide! I have this theory that Adelaide people only embrace the most horrible fashion trends and then cling on to them long after the rest of the world has moved on. The "hot bitch" look seems to have definitely taken root. I think back wistfully to my art school days in the early 90s where gals wore serious black and floral print 50s dresses and mary janes or flannelette shirts... Perhaps I'm just turning into an ol' curmudgeon..

While I could probably handle Apocalypse now (sorry, I couldn't resist), I could quite happily wait another 5 years for the flare/spandex revival. I'm sure Dear Patient M would be grateful to postpone that particular revival also..

[Jacanegra]

Incredible, Guus Van der Heyde was my graphic design lecturer at RMIT. Our first design assignment was a record cover!

[a thousand shades of twilight]

Wow! Jacanegra, that's really interesting - was he an inspiring teacher? Did he have WRC stories to share? I would have loved to be set that kind of project!
PS I didn't realise you went to RMIT!

[Christian Louboutin Platforms]

Yes, that's right! SF via Auckland, New Zealand. We'll think of you in SF and look forward to hearing more about your